Keith Kalfas Standing in a Parking Lot Talking About Life

In this episode, I just went to a parking lot and just talked about life. What life is all about, my struggles, how I reached my ambitions. It is not easy, man, it is not easy to be me. You might see me now, as a successful YouTube Vlogger and Podcaster / Entrepreneur. But the path through it, man I tell you. It is rough. But despite all of that, I strive. I reached my goal. So, the lesson to be kept here, my friend. Don’t waste your time. Reach for your goal, while you still have time. While you still can! Let’s Dive in.

"This is when you live in equanimity and abundance. You're mindful. And over here, it's really about managing opportunity. There's so much opportunity that you have developed a whole new skill set of learning how to manage opportunity overwhelmed, because that's the real truth, right? Because what got you here won't get you there, what got you here won't get you there. In order to get there, you got to let go of a lot of this shit." - Keith Kalfas

Topics Covered:

00:28 - We keep on hustling for more jobs because we want to succeed so fast. But what we don't know by getting more jobs we are becoming more stressed and anxious until we’re exhausted. Because we work ourselves to the bone. We tend to just give up. This is not a good strategy, my friend

3:22 - Don’t let toxic people and old thoughts control you. If you will live with this past it will only pull you down.

5:18 - When you come up to your senses. You will learn how to say, NO. This two-letter word will set your boundary for yourself.

6:54 - When you started to say NO. You are now living with equanimity and abundance, that means, you’re already mindful. And that is a good start because that is about managing opportunities. Stop hanging out with people who only put you down and direct you in a negative direction.

8:53 - Move on and continue to live, forgive people who hurt you, let go. As soon as you’ve done that, assess yourself. You will realize that you’ve reached your self-development and it is now easier to gravitate upward.

12:52 - It’s not wrong to set a role model, to be inspired. But, if you’re finding yourself comparing yourself to anybody. Stop that now! That will not pull you up from where you are sitting right now. What you need to do is get up and do something with your life and improve yourself.

Key Takeaways:

“What's holding you back? The past negative people, toxic people, toxic old thoughts and stories and bullshit going all the way back down to your childhood and old pathologies in your brain that doesn’t even make sense?”

“But when you do little by little, you can build these healthy boundaries where you begin to say, NO, somebody, friend or family member wants to call you up and dump all their bullshit on you or suck you into a victim story, or guilt-trip you. NO, NO. A client wants to call you up and get all dramatic. Oh, how about, how they want you to come right now? And they don't even pay you that well? They want you to. They want "Can you be there? Can you be there tomorrow?" I usually say, yes. NO. You're not afraid anymore. In the world of scarcity, you live where you always feel like any minute the rug is gonna get pulled out from underneath you any minute.”

“They're watching you. It's your job to be a leader. And what is the definition of confidence? Competence is really just your belief and your own ability to figure things out.”

“Forgive people, anybody who hurt you, let go, move on. And then when you let go of like 80% of all that baggage, you realize that 20% of the rest of the self-development is literally just like a walk in the park. It's not a walk in the park, but it's way easier to gravitate upward when you let go of all the baggage, right?”

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The Transcript

(Note: This transcript was created using Otter, an AI transcription software. Please forgive any transcription or grammatical errors. We probably sounded better in real life.)

Introduction 0:06

Hey, my friend, what's up? It's Keith Kalfas. And before we dive into this episode, I just want to say, sometimes when I record these podcasts, I'm outside. I'm on a job site, I'm on the go. So I apologize if you hear any background noises or anything going on. And let's jump into the show.

We keep on hustling for more jobs because we want to succeed so fast. But what we don't know, by getting more jobs we are becoming more stressed and anxious until we’re exhausted. Because we work ourselves to the bone. We tend to just give up. This is not a good strategy, my friend

00:28

So I've been thinking about why do we work so hard? Why are we so ambitious and we're always, I call pulling the shit string of the avalanche of all their responsibilities. We keep taking on more, and we want to be successful, so bad, and been thinking about this and it's because we don't want to live in regret. Right? But the more we move forward, and the more things we take on is the more stress and anxiety the more responsibilities where we feel rushed in so many things on our schedule. We're like anxious to get it all done and we're exhausted, we work ourselves to the bone.

1:04

But it's really because we don't want to live in regret. And the worst thing is to, just give up and be lazy and let go and be apathetic and just not care and relax. And ah, that's like torture to me. I remember Joe Rogan, one time, he said something interesting. He's talking about if he lays around on the couch and relaxes, it's torture to him. But if he went out and worked his ass off and accomplished like a whole bunch of stuff, and then he relaxes on the couch, it's pure bliss. Because he earned it, right? Like I just really think that I can feel time going by so fast that the days are just whipping by and it's the weekend again, it's the weekend, it's the weekend then the year then it's Christmas and then it's your birthday again with it in these years are flying by and take it for me like I'm straight 37 now and I just watched seven years fly by so fast.

1:58

So it happens is I hope it happens sooner than later for you, you start becoming very familiar with your own mortality. Like you can see your gravestone coming sooner and faster than you think. And you start looking around, like- if you ever run into clients, or customers or people you haven't seen in a few years, you start oh my God, you're literally watching them get older in front of you. You're watching this happen. And then your time is ticking right now. tic tac, tic tac, tic tac, I can feel the clock just beating over me. And what type of legacy are you going to leave? What do you, what are you going to do with your life right now? While you had this beautiful opportunity? Do you understand how lucky you are if you have your health, your arms, your legs, your fingers, your toes? If you even have the ability and the freedom to go out and make things happen right now because tomorrow you might not? So these little micro-moments of free time just for me to be standing in this parking lot right now is the ultimate freedom to spread my wings and do something with my life. What are you gonna do with your life?

3:06

What are you going to do with your life? And then the next thing is not what you're gonna do because motivation only takes you so far. What the f** Are you gonna stop doing it? Right? You can't move forward. If you're in chains stuck, right? People think it's funny how I get all animated but that's how I really feel, right?

Don’t let toxic people and old thoughts control you. If you will live with this past it will only pull you down.

What's holding you back? The past negative people, toxic people, toxic old thoughts and stories and bullshit going all the way back down to your childhood and old pathologies in your brain that doesn’t even make sense? I was thinking about this if you had like, I'm not saying you, but maybe you had like dramatic parents or something when you were a little kid you witnessed them freaking out being overdramatized about some petty shit, right? They were majoring on minor things all the time and you grew up thinking everything's a catastrophe. So now you have this inner anxiousness about a little shit. I got that. I was thinking oh my God when you were like a kid, your parents were Probably like in their 20s they're like barely coming out of being teenagers themselves. They probably weren't even that fucking mature enough to even have their shit together yet. I don't know what your story is. But all I want to say is a lot of the shit we earned learned in our formative years from other people.

4:15

And the way this the 95% rule 95% of people are all thinking alike. They're in the 95% income group, and there's a 95% chance that 95% of everything you know, comes from people in the 95% income group, therefore, you're a 95 percenter. But as the pendulum swings and you get to like you look, once in a while you get to be around high achievers and high performers, that people that got a bunch of f*** money, that doesn't really mean a lot. I'm talking to people that have a holistic life, a balanced life that is truly successful. And you get around these people that are high performers, and then you go back home and you get around the people you're normally used to being around or the negative people that try to suck your energy and you're like, what? Like it's really possible. You really can live the life that you always dream of living because there are people that are living it. And when you get around those people that rub off on you, and then you go back and you go, "Wait for a second, this doesn't make any sense." I thought this was the only way. But it's not. It's just a way and it's hard to let go and un-adapt some of those fictions and some of those false realities and stories in your brain.

When you come up to your senses. You will learn how to say, NO. This two-letter word will set your boundary for yourself.

5:18

But when you do little by little, you can build these healthy boundaries where you begin to say, NO, somebody, friend or family member wants to call you up and dump all their bullshit on you or suck you into a victim story, or guilt-trip you. NO, NO. A client wants to call you up and get all dramatic. Oh, how about, how they want you to come right now? And they don't even pay you that well? They want you to. They want "Can you be there? Can you be there tomorrow?" I usually say, yes. NO. You're not afraid anymore. In the world of scarcity, you live where you always feel like any minute the rug is gonna get pulled out from underneath you any minute. You're going to lose everything, any minute you're going to be in a tailspin, you're caught in the swirl. So you run around in a reactive state. Just the Sympathetic Nervous System in the amygdala are firing and you're keeping, they're keeping you with fight or flight mode. But over here is a world of abundance.

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And now here's Keith.

When you started to say NO. You are now living with equanimity and abundance, that means, you’re already mindful. And that is a good start because that is about managing opportunities. Stop hanging out with people who only put you down and direct you in a negative direction.